Defining Moments

Here I am faced with yet another turning point in life. Struggling to understand what the ‘mature’ thing to do is. I’ve had a small social circle from the time I graduated high school. I cut out the unnecessary, toxic, “no-gooders” from my life. You know, those people who you befriend simply because you’re forced to see them on a daily basis? You graduate and then disagree with their values and morals as they shape into who they become. Either that, or they stay friends with you just so that they can keep up with you on Facebook and gossip amongst other friends.

Just a little bit of background on those people. I went to a Catholic private school from Kindergarten until 8th grade with the same 26 kids. Talk about forced friendships. On our 8th grade graduation day, we all cried as though that was it; we were never going to see each other again. We watched a slide show that our parents put together of us through the years that played to Vitamin C’s – Graduation. 98% of us were going to the same Catholic private high school. Such was the case for about 10 other elementary schools. Then we were all thrown into this huge pool and finally allowed to mingle with people we didn’t just spend the last 9 years of life with.

It took me about a year and a half to weed out the bad ones. It took me a little bit longer to delete them from my Facebook friends. I found myself wasting time paying attention to people’s lives that I didn’t even care about or talk to. At that time, I whittled down to about 5 close friends. That was a good number, just enough that it wasn’t too much time to spend trying to nurture more than just a relationship that’s only fun when you go out on the weekends. I had also, by this time, started my own family so these were also people I trusted enough to be exposed to that part of my life.

Present day, and I’m not quite sure if I need to narrow that number again. I didn’t think that at this age, this would be something I’d have to face. I’m also not sure if I’m being the “immature” one because I may or may not continue a friendship because of a Facebook post. It was one of those posts that doesn’t directly call someone out but you’re 96% sure is about you. I’m at a place where I don’t even care to talk about it, I’d rather just be done. I thought about calling and talking about it over the phone and just being straight forward about it but, honestly, this person hasn’t been a supportive person in my life. Frankly, I think we’re only close because of my other friends. The question is, is it the “mature” thing to do to just silently end the friendship or do I need to explain why?

All over a damn Facebook post. Wrong on so many levels.

The Hand…What?!

Three days ago my 6 year old asked me a question. One of those questions that you know they’re clearly asking incorrectly so it’s both shocking and hilarious at the same time. I would like to begin by saying that names have been changed to protect the identity of the innocent. Here’s how it went down.

6 yr old: *Has my phone for playing games* Mom, how do you spell hand job?

Me: *Inside feels sheer terror but very calmly continues conversation* What’s hand job?

6 yr old: It’s something Mr. Barnes taught us at school.

Me: *Knowing Mr. Barnes is the music teacher, my nerves calm slightly* Oh, you mean the hand jive?

6 yr old: No, mom! HAND JOB!!

Me: *Starts doing gestures for the hand jive* You mean this?

6 yr old: Yes, mom! The hand job.

Me: OK honey, it’s not the hand job, it’s called the hand jive.

 

I wanted to freak out and ask all sorts of questions like, ‘Where did you learn this? Who taught you? What kind of sick-o’s are working at your school?” I also knew that my daughter likes to think she is right, all the time, even when she says the wrong words for things. I was very conflicted in this moment but I remained calm by assuming 3 things: 1) her school would never allow a sick-o to put my child in danger, 2) my child does not know what a hand job is, 3) my child is obviously using a word that she THOUGHT was correct but clearly wasn’t. Good thing I made those assumptions because most importantly, she still does not know what a hand job is. Phew!!!! I mentally pat myself on the back for that one.